Uber Beer Geek
June 11th, 2010 Joe SixpackSteve Hawk was named Philly Beer Geek 2010 last night at Manayunk Brewpub. He clinched it with his nomination of Philly Pale Ale for mayor. Here’s his campaign poster and a hilariously inventive winning speech.
Yards Philly Pale for Mayor
I assure you as a registered voter in the city of Philadelphia – I took this round very seriously.
As we all know this great city of ours is on the forefront of the beer world. Known for being innovative, passionate and notoriously hardworking. But unfortunately as the PLCB raids from a couples months ago prove - we still have a long way to go.
In my opinion we need a mayor that’s a refreshing alternative. A candidate who isn’t afraid to - pour himself into the job. And if you are like me, you too are sick and tired of the same bland candidates, who make these big promises but only leave a bitter aftertaste.
That’s why I’ve accepted the job as campaign manager for a beer we all know and trust. One of our own - born and raised here in the shadow of the liberty bell, Yards Philadelphia Pale Ale.’
A session beer that came from a modest upbringing and slowly rose to prominence in the last 16 years. A beer that was born from a small brewery actually not too far from here actually, A beer that campaigned hard for over a decade in local beer bars. This beer has won me over and will win you over too.
And behind this great ale stands the mighty forefathers of our nation- Benjamin Franklin, Thomas Jefferson and George Washington, as represented by their respective ales of the revolution. And whilst it would be easy to pick any of THEM for mayor- they have all HAD their time in office and it is time now for someone new, someone who, unlike any of our esteemed forefathers, was born and raised in Philadelphia from the sweat and toil of Philadelphians themselves, someone who ALREADY represents this city. Ladies and gentlemen- YPPA IS this city!
• My candidate pledges to give a full 4.6% to the city that raised him.
• My candidate goes well with cheese steaks, soft pretzels and even tasty cakes.
• My candidate will not tax his carbonated cousins
• And my candidate will not require Monetary compensation either. The only form of payment he needs is…Refrigeration
Ben Franklin said “It is the working man who is the happy man. It is the idle man who is the miserable man.” But I say it is Yards Philly Pale Ale that can make a miserable man happy
And tonight I leave you with our campaign slogan – Drink baby drink. For there are much happier times at the bottom of this bottle.
(Raising a mask to his face) I’m Tom Kehoe and I approve this message.
